


when we lay together on the fresh spring grass

by respoftw



Series: 35 Ways To Say I Love You In The Pegasus Galaxy [12]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Hurt No Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-09
Updated: 2016-09-09
Packaged: 2018-08-14 01:42:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7994005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/respoftw/pseuds/respoftw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ways to say "I love you" #12</p>
<p>John is trying not to float away.</p>
            </blockquote>





	when we lay together on the fresh spring grass

**Author's Note:**

  * For [writerdragonfly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/writerdragonfly/gifts).



> For writerdragonfly - this was my attempt to emulate your beautifully sparse prose. I failed completely but I hope you enjoy it in spite of that!

The grass is cold against John’s back, wet with a spring dew that reminds him of stained knees and bruised shins and wedging his duplicate baseball cards in the spokes of his bike just to hear it roar.

The memory makes him smile, even laugh a little.  He ignores the metallic taste of his own blood that the laughter causes to bubble up in his throat and turns his head to look at Rodney.

Rodney would have been a resourceful kid; he probably hadn’t needed baseball cards to make his bike sound like a motorcycle.  John could just imagine him scrounging through scrapyards to get the materials he needed to build a real engine for his bike.  

He opens his mouth to ask Rodney if he remembers but Rodney’s eyes are closed.

John has a feeling that he should be worried about that but the feeling is fuzzy and far away.  

Everything is fuzzy and far away.  

Still, he wants to ask Rodney if he remembers lazy days like this, lying on the grass, looking at the clouds and wishing his life away, so he summons enough focus to kick out at Rodney, smiling as the familiar baby blues appear.

Rodney doesn’t answer, doesn’t seem to hear John ask and John lets the disappointment float away.  He tilts his head back and looks at the clouds.

John always had loved the sky.

It’s not so bad a place to float away, he thinks.  At least he can see the sky.  At least he’s not alone.  There are worse places to leave.

Rodney’s hand tangles in his own, cold with all the red outside his skin.  John tries to squeeze it but he’s not sure he manages much more than a twitch of the fingers.

He tears his eyes away from the clouds and back to Rodney.

Rodney seems more aware now and John smiles at him.

Rodney’s teeth are stained with blood but John doesn't care.  It’s still one of his favourite smiles in the whole world.

John watches as his awareness slowly starts to drift away again.

He knows that he’ll follow Rodney to wherever he’s drifting to soon. He hopes Rodney will wait for him.

The gentle breeze picks up again and brushes through his hair.  John turns his face to it and lets himself feel.

He can feel the desire to float away grow stronger now and he wishes he had some baseball cards with him now, something to make noise, to keep him here.  

Staying here seems important even if he’s not sure why.

Rodney’s hand falls from his and John turns to see him almost gone.  

The words don’t come easy.  They never do.  

It’s important that he says them though.  

Three words.  They take all his energy to say and the darkness seems closer now.  With Rodney almost gone it seems less important to keep it at bay.

John closes his eyes.

He hears something new, a distant whoosh of noise.  It’s familiar but unimportant.

John floats.

**Author's Note:**

> And then Carson and a full medical team arrive, brought back by Teyla and Ronon. They get John and Rodney back to Atlantis and patch them up with no problem and everyone lives happily ever after, OK?
> 
> Don't hate me :(


End file.
